i regret.
i regret not taking the initiative to keep in touch with my primary school friends, especially with Jin Wen and Yan Khee. I regret losing touch with Zhimin and Xiaotian. i regret not holding tighter to my friendships with jos, cy, and janelle, missing the good old times we had. i regret not staying in closer touch with my teacher-friends. i regret not keeping close ties to PHS. i regret not coming for GB more often this year. i regret not keeping in touch with adam side folks, losing my very close friendships with cass and rina. i regret not keeping contact with kristen, and totally losing her. i regret not learning to treasure and appreciate my cell during my lower sec years in passion! min. i regret spoiling my image and 'reputation' this year. i regret being so caught up with myself, with my own 'problems' (which compared to others aint so big) that i've neglected friends. i regret not being a better SP and support and encouragement to my buzz group leader, sis pauline, and fellow SP, andrew, being as little involved as possible, last year. i regret taking a break from SOF, leaving asaph alone there to struggle by himself and with the younger ones, leaving him the responsibility of the team leader and not offering help. i regret that that decision of mine led to a drifting of friendship between me and asaph. i regret not being a better friend and help to andrew last year, especially since we've been in the same cell/section since sec 1, letting him do most of the facilitation of the buzz group, otherwise maybe we would have become better friends, and i wont have that awkward feeling i keep getting everytime we meet. i regret not spending more time with my brother, leaving him now to be addictively rotting in the cyber world. i regret being so self-centered in carrying out my own life that i did not spend time chatting with my brother nor playing with him, especially during that period when he kept asking me, just before he got into his addiction. i regret losing contact with my fun and nice 'gor', my one and only 'gor' i ever had thus far, till now we totally dun communicate at all. i regret losing a friend in samuel when he became an adult leader, letting that status get in our friendship, and like all other friendship, not holding on. i even more regret losing my cousin michelle when she became an adult leader, and the promises we made to each other when we were young that we will be best friends forever are no longer kept, and now i feel there's a big drift between us. i also regret losing the close friendships with my other cousins, joel and amos, as we grew into our teenage years. i also regret not grabbing opportunities to try new things, to get new experiences. i regret not being a better friend to the new friends i make this year. i regret not being a better support as an SP this year to my just-appointed-this-yr cell leader chloe, and the other supporting SP shermaine, especially as we all transited into Z2 leaving our old buzz group and meeting new people. i regret abandoning andrew last year, and chloe, shermaine, asaph this year. i regret being a tough nut (kinda) for my adult leader, not being there to support, letting myself be lost and out, and not sharing.
well, that's all the nostalgic regrets i can think of for now.
but i'm thankful for certain things though.
i'm thankful that my pri sch friend louann took the initiative to keep that group of us in touch, so still quite on okay, comfortable zone with her, jolene, kaili, szehan. i'm thankful that my upper sec group also still quite closed, despite my twinnie being in a different JC, and the rest of us in different classes in NY; that mich, lin,yt,wl we still hang about and still comfortable with each other. i'm thankful for my sis whom we share and chat with, whom i received a lot of encouragement and support from, who has been a great listening ear to me, although i guility feel that i'm not that good a listening ear to her though. xp sorry gal.
okay, that marks the end of nostalgic regrets for now. and i'm feeling better now. haha. dun worry. i'm NOT leaving this post with negative feelings.
instead, i feel great finally, honestly, openly getting it off my heart. and now i'm gonna happily get busy making gifts for people, so i wont have another regret of not fulfilling one of my life's goal, to bless others/be a blessing to others, and bring joy to their lives. =D oh, and to encourage them to. :)
THE END! (time to get to work~! and be a willing and happy factory worker)
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