Alone in the Rain

Damn it. Maybe i shouldnt have come. Things aint working out becoz of some misunderstandings n losing of tempers over it. Guess it's my fault, becoz it happened through my phone, n it was probably my fault for passing the phone around, esp to pple who i knew wld easily blow up n r sarcastic. Though they said we keep passing the phone, but they too did passed the phone so many times til i was also getting confused n impatient. So maybe i shouldn have come, especially if i cant control my temper. Now i feel super bad, becoz maybe it was me, who caused the situation to be like that thus innocent people get hurt. It feels like it's my fault for ruining the whole atmosphere n causing esp An. whom i know gets upset over this kind of matter easily n was the one who took so much pain-staking effort to plan this farewell bbq for clement, to b upset. Maybe i should had stayed home n study. like i used to say, it seem best of me to crawl back into isolation policy wif my current situation. Makes life easier for me n for pple. Seems like the door to my heart is closing again. Y did i let myself leave God... I shd haf never allowed myself to get close to the class. i knew i wld get hurt, again! This is all my fault I wish i can disappear n no one remembers tat i shd be here. I've lost appetite to eat the food that had caused the arguement. It's so hard to keep smiling. But i know i hate pple going into isolation policy n being anti-social, n being emo. But i cant help doing it too. That's why i hate it becoz i dislike myself for being like that i guess. Okay, have been away from eveyone for at least 10min already. Should b getting back. N it so happen tat i'm hearing pple singing come on n celebrate here in punggol park. sayonara. i still dunno how to face An. I tried talking to her, but... ...