sigh...
all alone and there's no one else beside me...
taken for granted...
discouraged...
dun wanna take up the challenge...
wanna give up...
dun wanna fight...
wanna give in...
wanna let go, and get myself a nice comfortable shoulder...
wanna close in and hide myeslf in my shell...
thinking of seeking isolation again, cut off from interactions with the world...
want friends...
wish to run away and have all friends disown me, as i'm NOT worth it, and i'll have a good reason why i dun really have friends
want my bed!!!
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Keeps Raining Without You
Without Him, it keeps raining... everything is so dark, gloomy, cold. But it was me who pushed Him away. I'll be writing here till i've returned to His side once again. I'm 'dead'... and this blog is for my conscious ghost...
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Nickname: King
Who? A gal who is searching for her identity; who is on the road of discovering herself and picking herself up; who wishes to be in the arms of the one whom she is pushing away Who? A gal who has lost herself when she pushed her beloved far from her. Although she needs Him and wants Him, yet she pushes Him away, ignoring Him, and thus she is left... broken and spilled out. She tries to find substitutes, but she cant and she never will, because He is too special to be replaced.
Who? A gal who although is physically conscious and is physically alive, yet is spiritually, emotionally, and in all other aspects, unconscious. She is unable to awake her consciousness, and feels like the living dead.
Who? A gal who knows that one day her consciousness will wake up, and her true self will revive, but is unsure how long it will take. It may be in a few months, or a few years, or 10years down the road (she hopes not)...Who? A gal who still has some of her true self in this 'ghost' of hers whom everyone sees, but is very different from her true self, because this is only a shell without the true inner her. That is why she has changed a lot.
Who? A gal who no one will be able to fully understand because they are unable to truly see exactly what is going on and comprehend it, and because she herself can't really understand her situation either. Her mind seems to be too complicated for anyone, including herself to 100% grasp it.
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