The whole world is crashing down on me

today was seriously one screwed up day. everything went bad. my whole world seems to be falling apart and crashing on me. well, anyway, becoz it's actually 01:03 and i'm quite tired, i'll just write short post tonight.

what i wrote when i was seriously feeling down in the dumps:
Geez. why has everything turned out so bad today? First i nearly forgot the potato salad and told mom & charm on TV..

--to be continued... so tired till i cant type. forget it then... maybe when i fill up this posst the next whenever... good nite. 01:09

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yeah. one day late, but still wanna put this up. dun ask me why. not so much for pple to read (becoz seriously, not many pple read in the first place), so well i guess more for myself...

Frens who saw me leaving ppp for several moments, well, i was just having some "quiet" time off a place i was not comfortable in, especially when it has contradictory atmosphere as me.

"Geez. Why has everything turned out so bad today?
First, i nearly forgot the potato salad n only told mom n charm last night. Charm must have been displeased.
Then, this morning queen was so angry, worried n upset such that she broke down later.
When me n sweetheart gotta say bye to her, it was sweetheart's turn to be down in the dumps throughout the rest of the day.
Left school late, gotta rush home to collect stuffs for ppp, forgot to take ed's copy of GPP.
Rushed down to amk hub where the rest were buying the stuffs...
running short of time, we were rushing and i dropped my wallet in the bus. So darn careless of me, such an i~~~~.
Then we were half an hour late for OSLE. It's not that i'm not committed, it's not that i have no interest. I'm really interested n loving every second of it.
Becoz the session was ending late, and i feel bad already that we aint there to help the rest prepare for ppp, so i requested to go off since they went overtime. Received a very short talk that showed that the trainer wasnt happy with my decision.
After that, got a serious scolding from teacher. First we were late n dint inform the teacher earlier, then we were 'leaving early'. maybe i shouldnt have called the teacher to say we were reaching in 5min, after 25min since lesson started. sigh. guess i now left a terrible impression on OSLE pple - teachers, trainer, facilitators, peers... How am i going to face them next time?
Maybe the bad feelings were right. i shouldnt have come tonight. Everyone who is there, who is not ics, are those either in walls or in descendants play. My class pple, besides the one in the play and myself, either dint come or left early, leaving me 'alone'...
N no one really really cares that i'm here sitting alone at the stairs, emo-ing.
Dad and mom is real mad at me for losing my wallet. OSLE teacher not happy too. The party, though everyone is seemingly enjoying themselves, to me aint really great. Rather it's disappointing with the turnups, and the 'unknown' changes in the decor and food sectors.
Now, i'm here alone. All alone. Maybe i really dun n shouldnt belong here.
Why or why have i let myself drift so far from God, such that now i am out of His protection n struggling on my own..."
--- 8:40pm Friday 16May2008 ---

oh. something that i missed out.
it dint help that thurs nite i dint sleep becoz busy helping YT with ppp last min discussion/prep and helping dad out with some stuffs, slept at friday, 1.25am and had to wake up at 5pm to chionh chinese homework.. so very tiring throughout the day, especially such a loooooooooong day.